Letterman’s Top Ten Signs Your Cat is Up to No Good

Top Ten Signs Your Cat Is Up to No Good

from Friday, January 11, 2013

10. He rubs up against your leg — suddenly, your wallet’s gone

9. Coughs up fur ball, then a balloon of cocaine

8. For a cat, he rents a lot of storage units

7. Your dog goes missing, ransom note demands tuna

6. Kathryn Bigelow’s next film is about the hunt for your cat

5. Brings home mice, chipmunks, and the occasional Petco truck

4. Clawed a gang sign into his scratching post

3. Endless, profanity-laced meowing

2. Used to lick himself, now pays a neighbor cat to do it for him

1. Hired dog to be his ‘getaway driver’


Petectives Profiles#1: Yoshi



Real Life

  • AKA: Crazy Yoshi
  • Black cat; 16 pounds
  • Bought at a pet store in a mall in Troy, MI
  • He was given an Asian name due to his resembling a Siamese cat when he was a kitten. He grew out of that appearance but kept the name.
  • Yoshi loves salty snacks such as french fries, potato chips and pretzels. He’s been known to swat nacho chips out of people’s hands so that he can jump down to the floor and recover them.
  • Refuses to ride in a car. If someone can survive his teeth and claws and actually get him into a cat carrier and into the car, he will get so horribly carsick and noisy that it will be almost impossible to drive


  • 8 years old. Black cat; 16 pounds
  • Knows how to read. Enjoys the books on his owner’s bookshelves.
  • Refuses to leave his house for any reason.
  • Yoshi doesn’t think much of dogs but has a grudging respect for Duke, the German Shepherd leader of the neighborhood Dog Patrol.
  • Yoshi enjoys four regularly scheduled naps throughout the day which can never be disturbed except for extreme situations.
  • Considered a legendary figure in the neighborhood. Since he doesn’t leave his house most pets have never met him.